PSA: I use the f-word in this piece. (both the 3 letter and 4 letter versions)
I used to be the girl who never ate breakfast because, gasp, I was worried about being (here it comes) fat.
Fast forward to the day I was hovering between 200 and 300 pounds: self fulfilling prophecy, much? Alanis Morset, feel free to add an extra verse to your number one hit, Ironic, here. (BTW, I use this f-word with complete unconditional love because, hooray for therapy!)
Starting in Junior High, it made complete sense to starve myself during daylight hours (?) Of course, this led to inhaling all food sources not nailed down after dark.
Looking back, I can clearly see this was some sort of exercise in fucked up control mixed with a hint of Patriarchal bullshit. The beauty and diet industry's cultural message to women: look this way to fit in. The problem is none of us came here to fit in. (See my previous blog)
So I sold myself the lie that I was “good” if I starved, and “bad” if I consumed food. But see, there’s this funny thing that happens when we convince ourselves we "shouldn't" have something: we actually crave it 10,000 fold.
Words like “should”, “must” and “need” are like handcuffs for our knowing. Wolves dressed in sheep's clothing. Anytime these words pop up in our minds, it is an invitation to pause. Just like that little girl you were on her roller skates in the 80’s with stoppers. Let’s use our stoppers.
Instead, what if we replaced should/must/need soul hackers with phrases like:
I am choosing to… I get to… I will enjoy…
I’m not talking about using food to numb out. Follow me for more health tips on that next. I’m speaking about truly trusting ourselves while we are here. Who's with me?
My Current Spotify Food List:
Greek yogurt with fruit Bread and butter Water Dark chocolate Sauteed vegetables with protein Homemade chili Pita Chips of all sorts Popcorn Dark Beer Homemade chicken and veggie soup with parmesan Light Beer Homemade muffins Any Food That Is Unique Where I Happen to Be Standing
Please SHARE any food or drink that I may have missed.
** The above photo was snapped after a spontaneous night out at The Improv, where I enjoyed nachos, fries, and a spicy vodka cocktail. It was FABULOUS! Being with Marni and Beth made it more FUN!
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